On Writing: Vulnerability

Not really a post. Not really anything. I wrote this thing in my head a few minutes ago. I want to post it now before I edit any of it to keep its sincerity. I don't have many moments of weakness, but I have a whole lot of pep talks. This is a spoken word style pep talk, I suppose. This is very personal and it's taking a lot to post this. I don't like showing vulnerability.

24.

got diagnosed with colon cancer

Put a damper on my journey of looking for all the answers.

Fuck it's such a heavy cross to carry.

Ya boy can't even eat red meat or dairy!

    Looking to the heavens
         waiting to see if He hears my plea.

        
                 Dear Dad, Why have you forsaken me?

It’d be great to have someone pull me along, but fuck it
If not I’ll do all of this alone.

Fuck it's such a heavy burden to bear.

  Only He knows if I can make it through this scare.

       Getting so lost I started smoking trees.

            Looking where to go asking please, please,

                                                                    PLEASE!

I don’t care what the docs say
You’ve all been wrong anyway.
Ya’ll said I had 3 months left to live
I told you I had a bottomless pit of shits I don’t give.

Nothing can make a heart of gold go cold.

Even if smoking dope to cope with losing hope
is getting so damn old.

I've got the strength of 13 men.
I don’t give a fuck if I have bad luck,
Even this can't do me in.

Eyes on high, piercing through the sky

Looking to the heavens and asking "Why?

   What did I do to deserve this mess?"

Dressed head to toe in my Sunday’s best,
   I’ve looked the Devil in the eye and spit in his face,
      Even he can’t keep up with my pace.

Give me all of the legions of hell
I’ll put all you fucks under the same damn spell
What attempt is this?
     First,
           Second,
                    third,
                        Fourth,
                                 Fifth?

Fuck it, go for a sixth.
Hate it break it, Lucy, I'm not the guy you want to dance with.

On Writing: Alliteration

Hey, team,

     It's my first post! The point of this blog is to give you all a view through the window to my heart, mind, body, and soouuullll baby while also providing myself an outlet to freely express my thoughts and emotions in a way that's meaningful and practical to me. It will typically revolve  around various things going on in my life like writing (today's!,) my relationships, my adventures, and dealing with my back and forth dance with the devil (Cancer. More on that later. It's pretty juicy.)

         Writing is a beautiful tool that everyone can used as an art form to express themselves, use as a journal for stress relief, or assist you in telling a story. Like everything, everyone can be good at it if they try hard enough. You may never be GREAT, but you can definitely be GOOD through constant practice. In conjunction with this blog, I like to give myself periodic writing exercises. They can be little things like writing a short poem, writing a story with alliteration (today's!,) or writing a micro story about an inanimate object on the desk in front of me (or you?) 

   The reason I like to do alliteration exercises is because it puts your brain under duress from constantly looking for seldom used words for familiar ideas. It thrusts you into unfamiliar territory and really makes you flex the ol' vocabulary to get some extra use out of your words. It allows you to keep your head full of ideas and forces you to keep the tip of your pen wet.

"Living life lavishly lately, I’ve looked longingly

 for the fictitious forces being fantastically fabricated from our own flight of fancy. I’m fastened to the

 insightful illumination that inspiration is an illusion, intelligence is insincere, and intellectuality is an invention. Ingenuity, intellect, and imagination are extinct. 

I may have lost my marbles by milking my mind dry from meditating on all of the misery and misgivings of the masses.

 I've potentially given some punk the power to pillage and plunder my proclamations. He’ll push back my prophecies as punitive and penal. When that happens,

 the world we wanted without exception will be wrecked. The wallowing, the woeful, and the weary will rise up while we wait like wax statues wondering what went wrong. 

Reality is repeatedly in front of you rightfully resting for a revolutionary to reach for a rifle and reignite a new renaissance to reinvigorate the rank-and-file to decipher their new, 

distinct delusions as day dreams or as dire designs for a new de facto destination."

   

     It's always tough showing anyone something personal and writing is no exception. Even something as simple as the above exercise is deeply personal and a reflection of my skill as a writer and of my feelings. It feels good to get it out there.

So, remember...

Keep your head full and your tip wet.

-Safford McGivens